Dealing with VSD: Part 3... The news we didn't want to hear.

This is a continuation from my first post on Arif's Congenital condition.


Ever since we found out about Arif's hole in the heart when he was 3 days old, we then decided to stick to the doctors in IJN, particularly Dr. Mazeni Alwi. For every month for the next three months, we went to see him on updates on Arif's condition.

On the second month, the doctor told us that Arif's left ventrical is swollen. This made us worry further. Doctor told us that Arif would have to be on medication and we will need to monitor him closely for any signs of heart failure and that an operation is vital to save him.

So on medication it was. Alhamdulillah, Arif is not a fussy baby and he drank his medicines well without the need to mix it with his milk. There were a few times where he did spit it out, but most of the time, he'll swallow it well.

On the third month of his appointment, we were hoping that Arif's heart would not be as swollen as it was, so that we could at least hold his operation until he was older. But to our dismay, the doctor told us that even with medication, his heart still remained swollen. So the doctor asked us to choose a date not later than 2 months for his surgery. We asked him whether Arif could be inserted with a catheter to close the hole instead of an open heart surgery, alas, doctor told us that Arif's condition required only an open heart surgery. So we set the date to 19th of April. Approximately 6 weeks from his appointment and a week after his 4 month birthday.

Doctor assured us that the operation would be 99% successful, but as any normal parent would be.. we could only think of that 1% of the possibility that the operation would NOT be successful.

God knows how I felt. There was a moment where I thought 'Don't love Arif too much... he belongs to Allah, Allah could take Arif away anytime'. Every night from the day the doctor told us Arif would need to be operated, I couldn't sleep well. I would wake up easily at night and ever so often take a look at Arif, making sure he was still breathing and he wasn't turning blue. If you were to ask other people, I looked completely calm and normal, but in my mind and in my heart, I was very very worried about Arif.

The doctor advice us to make sure Arif does not get a cold or a flu prior to his operation as it may postpone his operation as well as it could be very risky for Arif's health. you could imagine how we took care of Arif. Making sure we brought him to places that were not too congested, making sure family members who were sick didn't touch him or be close to him. I knew we had to hurt some people's feelings for doing so... but we had to protect our baby most importantly.

But if you were to look at Arif, he looked like any normal healthy baby. If we didn't tell anyone, no one would know that he was actually sick. He was active and cheerful... the only thing noticeable was his heavy breathing and rapid heart rate.

Here are some pictures of Arif as he grew up prior to his operation date. Will write about his operation on another post.